Day 17
September 18, 2024
“Rap, rap, rap,” I heard on the outside door. I knew I would never make it to the door before the person on the other side threw in the towel and headed back to their car.
“Jay, someone is at the door!” I yelled. He had been in the basement flipping the laundry. A job now shared between him and my mother. After being the primary laundry flipper for the past several years, it was odd that this was one of the tasks I no longer did.
“Ok, no problem,” he yelled up as he plopped the basket with clean clothes on the kitchen floor. He whisked the door open and I heard, him say hello.
“Hi, I’m here to pick up the grill.”
“Ummmm the grill…,” Jay responded with obvious confusion.
Oh, right, the grill I posted on Facebook Marketplace. We had two and after the addition of the indoor bouncy house we had been gifted we needed to do some weeding out. I should really turn on those notifications, I thought.
“Oh, Jay, I sold the toy grill. It’s in the basement, the one closest to the stairs.” My selfless mother had been over almost daily after my injury, sorting, cleaning, folding, washing, straightening, and helping me with everything imaginable. She snapped some pictures of the grill and asked me to post it. I gave the man the address this morning and completely forgot about it.
Back to the basement he went, returning with a small toy grill that was purchased after Daddy got his new real one and the kids needed a replica. We ended up with two after Gigi purchased one as well, so this one was ready to head to a new home.
It was strange—almost like being locked in the home. Of course I wasn’t actually locked in, but after not having left the house in days and days, I might as well have been on house arrest. I couldn’t make it to the door to let someone in, couldn’t drive, certainly couldn’t take a walk. My destination each morning was the couch downstairs and sometimes that was a massive feat in and of itself. That was the extent of my commute. One flight of stairs and thirty steps. Fortunately, I had enough to do to prevent from going stir crazy. I thought about how funny it was that I was locked in after having spent so many times of my life locked OUT.
Sometimes I say my life is like a reality show. I’m not sure if it’s a drama or a comedy, sometimes it’s a combination of both. While living in Ohio, I found myself locked out of my apartment on more than one occasion. The first time I was locked out was after I broke up with my boyfriend. I had met him In New Zealand studying abroad and we moved together to Ohio after we graduated college. He was a biomedical engineer for the Air Force and would be working at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio. After we broke up, I got an apartment and he was the only one I knew in the entire state. We were still friends and he had the spare key in case something happened.
One night I managed to lock myself out of my apartment with my car keys also inside. I looked at the clock. 9:30. He was definitely sleeping. We were opposite. He got up super early and went to bed early and I was a night owl. Ugh, he was going to kill me (I’m kidding, but MAN I couldn’t bring myself to ask). So I decided to walk there. I would still have to wake him up, but at least he wouldn’t have to drive…It was only 1.5 miles away so I headed out.
On my way I saw three deer darting along the side of the road. I didn’t want them to be hit and surely the drivers wouldn’t want their cars smashed up, so I flagged a few down just before the deer sprinted into the road. I remember telling my mom this story and her response was, “Steph, I can’t believe you did that, that’s so dangerous.” I remember thinking, “Wow, I never thought of deer as dangerous, do they attack?” I had never thought of deer as dangerous. About five years later I was telling this story, and my mom said, “Oh my God Steph, not the deer. The PEOPLE you were flagging down. You were flagging down random cars in the DARK.” Even after all the Dateline I had watched I thought my mom was concerned about me being attacked my a deer. I still laugh about this today. Oh, and this trek was fruitless, he insisted on driving me home.
The second time was when I lost my phone charger and instead of buying a new one, decided to resort to using my car. I put the keys in the ignition, plugged in my phone, and turned it on. Yes, they used to have a place that actually HELD your keys. Now when I am in a rush and run into CVS, I end up with 4 bags and looking like a hot mess. “Hi, yeah, I usually don’t have this much stuff but I have keyless entry. All I know is that my keys are in one of these bags, but unfortunately not which one!” Maybe I should always put them in the same place. That’s likely my problem. But if you have a purse you know that even in the smallest of purses, anything can get lost into the abyss. You know it’s not in there until you dump all of the contents out and it appears out of thin air. In lieu of taking each bag out of the car one at a time and trying to lock it, I simply carried on everything I owned.
While I was outside plugging in my phone, I planned to walk Paxton. I dropped the leash for a split second and he took off. He was a puggle, half beagle half pug, but I am sure he was more like 90% beagle. Although he thoroughly enjoyed human company, he led by his nose almost all of the time. He chased deer and tracked any animal that may have crossed our path in the woods. All by scent. And if he saw the animal? Forget it. He was OUT. When he returned there was no mistaking the smell.
“You have to be KIDDING me Paxton!” I yelled.
I picked up the phone and called my friend Scott. He was one of my best and first friends I made after moving to Ohio.
“Hey I need help. I’m locked out and Paxton got sprayed by a skunk!”
He laughed. “Only you. Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Thank God, I thought. I grabbed my phone and turned it on. The 3% battery charge flashed in my face. This was going to be a long night. I’ll spare you the details now, but I had moved to Dayton, Ohio. Not exactly a place where you want to leave the keys in an unlocked running car. I googled, “What to do if your dog is sprayed by a skunk.”
It read, “Wash your dog as soon as possible with a skunk shampoo or a mixture of one quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide, 1/4 cup of baking soda, and 1 teaspoon of liquid dishwashing soap. You can use a washcloth to clean your dog’s face, avoiding their eyes and mouth.”
Okay, at least I had the ingredients. Just then Scott came pulling up with a huge smile on his face. “Only you, Harris,” he quipped. I think I can get you in. He managed to pick the lock and open the door. I don’t know whether I was glad or disturbed that it was so easy to break in. There was an additional locking mechanism that I used when I was inside, so I guess this was okay.
We went inside, trying to breathe through our mouths. I heaved him into the bathtub and got ready to wage war on the stench.
“Do you have hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap?” he yelled over the thunder of the running water.
“Yeah, I do!” I yelled back. Thank God for Scott. I could NOT handle this on my own. He came in all supplies in hand. We mixed it up and washed him at least ten times. It still smelled horrid, but at least it didn’t permeate every facet of the apartment the way it had been before.
“Ok, Harris, I’m out,” Scott laughed. He gave me a hug and shut the door. Leaving me alone in my foul-smelling apartment. I hoped I didn’t smell like a skunk…if I didn’t I was sure that I would by morning. Ewwwwwww.
The third time that comes to mind was while staying in my ex-boyfriend Mike’s Manhattan apartment. Yes, the SAME Mike. He offered me his apartment for NYE 2016 as he would be in Hong Kong for the holiday. I am not sure if it was a sign of what was to come, but when my friend and I arrived at the apartment we were locked out, we hadn’t gotten a key yet.
I texted, “Hey, we are here, but how do we get in?”
He replied, “Just push all the buttons. Someone will let you in. I taped the key on the ceiling on the right side of the second set of stairs, just outside the apartment door.”
Seriously? His plan was to “push all the buttons.” It was freezing. Guess we had no choice. After about three attempts at “pushing all the buttons” we decided this was never going to work. After waiting about 30 minutes and praying the entire building wasn’t away on vacation, we were in luck. A couple came out and we caught the door and hurried in.
On NYE, we went to a restaurant in Manhattan that was hosting a NYE event. Upon arriving home we went inside, hit the elevator button, and waited. We heard a “ding” and the doors opened. We stepped inside and as we did I heard a “plink.” I looked down and saw the apartment key perpendicular to the space in between the elevator and the floor. Luckily, it was long enough to avoid falling in the crack. Then, instantly, without time to grab it, it bounced, became parallel to the crack and disappeared into the void. My friend had dropped the key. Down the elevator shaft.
Nobody was working on NYE, let alone after 12 am. We begrudgingly called Mike in Hong Kong and he said he would call the apartment in the morning and get us a spare (cringe). Well, that didn’t help for tonight. We reluctantly made the 1/2 trek to Chinatown and checked into a hotel with nothing but our NYE garb and dying cell phones.
In the morning when we checked out, we explained our situation to the front desk (mostly due to the embarrassment at our NYE outfits from the night before). The front desk employee said, “Here’s what you can do. Go to the elevator, pull the lever, temporarily shut off the system, and jump into the shaft.” Was he crazy? I had seen Final Destination. No thanks. Luckily about 2 hours later, we got the spare set of keys.
I’m sure there are many more instances, but these are the ones that stick out. I laughed thinking about the crazy memories. I had so many. I laid on the couch, now facing the reality that I was more likely to be “locked in” than locked out. People always said, “Life can change in an instant.” But until it happens to you, it doesn’t really carry much weight. I felt sadness for anyone who experienced Cauda Equina Syndrome and woke up completely paralyzed. I was one of the lucky ones and that wasn’t lost on me.
Surviving Cauda Equina Syndrome 